It’s not about finding meaning in everything. It’s about letting meaning find you.
“Amanda, what did you say?”
“… the NCAA tournament? Is that not what that is?”
“Why do you say ‘tournament’ like The Karate Kid?”
“What?”
“It’s tur-na-ment, not tor-na-ment.”
“WHAT?”
This was the conversation that sparked an unofficial office poll: How do you pronounce the word “tournament”?
For those who don’t know, I grew up in the Northeast (Jersey City!) and live in Denver now. Most people in that particular office were from the Midwest/West. And that was the day I learned I have an East Coast accent. My friend Greg and I were the only ones who said tor-na-ment — and he was the only other East Coaster in the room.
The conversation turned into a deep dive into regional slang: soda vs. pop, sub vs. hoagie, pecan (PEE-can or pe-CAHN?). We even took The New York Times dialect quiz. (It’s behind a paywall now, but here’s an article that shows all the maps, and where I grabbed the below image from.)
One of the biggest shocks was this map.
TENNIS SHOES?
This made Greg and I irrationally angry.
“Why would they be tennis shoes if you aren’t playing tennis?” I asked.
“They’re called sneakerheads, not tennis-shoe-heads!” Greg exclaimed.
Fast forward to last week, and I was reminded of that conversation when my friend D said “tournament” — tor-na-ment.
I recapped the whole accent debate from seven-ish years ago, and she added, “The band is Sneaker Pimps, not Tennis Shoe Pimps!”
We laughed. Then I mentioned we were actually seeing Greg later that night — even though we hadn’t hung out with him in forever, despite living 15 minutes away from each other.
I thought: How funny that Greg came up in conversation on the same day we were going to meet up with him.
A few hours later, we were at the bar catching up, and my husband suddenly sat up straighter. “The song playing right now… it’s by the Sneaker Pimps.”
What in the Seinfeld episode was this day?
I mean, when was the last time you noticed a Sneaker Pimps song playing in public? I couldn’t name one of their songs if you paid me (so it’s a good thing Husband recognized them). But somehow, just hours after we joked about them, there they were.
Which made me think of the Baader-Meinhof phenomenon, also known as frequency illusion. It’s the thing where once you learn about something, or start paying attention to it, you suddenly notice it everywhere. Like when I got my Honda Fit and started seeing them all over the road. I think they were always there, but my brain just wasn’t tuned into them yet.
So sure, maybe Sneaker Pimps songs are always playing in the background at bars. Or maybe we only noticed it because it had been flagged as “relevant” earlier that day. Or maybe it was just weird coincidence.
Frequency illusion is explainable. Cognitive bias is real. So… science. But that doesn’t make it less magical. What if it’s not just your brain playing tricks on you? What if it’s the universe winking at you?
Speaking of fun little winks, the day before this sitcom-level synchronicity, we were a makers market. I had no plans to buy flowers (I already had a bouquet at home), but I was drawn to these roses at a local florist’s stall. I’m not a rose person. Too… mainstream? Too Valentine’s Day. (I’m annoying, I know.) But these stopped me. I’d never seen roses like it — a swirl of coral, gold, and peach, like a watercolor sunset. I told the florist how stunning they were, and she lit up when she told me, “I love these. They’re called free spirit roses.”
Of course they were.
A flower I never really cared for, suddenly catching my eye — with a name that felt like a message. (And of course I bought one. Support local small businesses!)
You could chalk all of this up to coincidence, pattern-seeking, cognitive bias, sure, whatever. I also think the world is always whispering, though. Most of the time, we’re too distracted, too logical, or too tired to notice. But every once in a while, when we slow down and get curious, we see how the threads connect.
Your friend Greg comes up in a weird and random conversation about tor-na-ment… on the day you’re seeing him.
You laugh about sneakerheads and the Sneaker Pimps… and then hear one of their songs while out.
You’re drawn to a rose, a flower you’ve never liked… and it’s called free spirit.
And maybe that’s the whole point of life. It’s not about finding meaning in everything. It’s about slowing down and letting meaning find you.
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